A few weeks into Moira’s chemotherapy treatments, she developed a fever. Fevers are no joke when you have a compromised immune system, so our oncologist sent us straight to the emergency room. Once there, the resident on call shot Moira up with some Tylenol and the fever subsided in minutes. They admitted her anyway. Her white blood cell count was dangerously low, and she could have easily been laid low by something as simple as a cold.
So there she sat for a few days, isolated in a tiny room. All visitors were required to dress up like astronauts so as to avoid bringing in any infections. No outside food or drinks. No fun. Considering that her fever was gone, she felt fine the whole time (aside from the boredom, of course). And that is where our story begins. The few days while Moira was there, I was home with Leo and my work and keeping the family ship afloat. Moira was bored and lonely and a little crabby. She kept saying: “If I had just taken a few Tylenol I would never have had to come to the ER!” To which I said: “Yes dear, but then your low white blood cell count could have let a little sniffle compromise your whole treatment regimen…or worse yet, killed you.”
It is hard to suffer a setback when you are in the trenches fighting cancer, training for a marathon, or accomplishing anything worth doing. It is almost unbearable to contain your enthusiasm and restrain your ambition. All Moira wanted to do was get on with her life, to get cancer out of her system, and be done with all of this. I understood. It was probably the first time she really felt like a patient. Until then she had been cruising along as well as anyone could have hoped. It was then she learned to pace herself.
Last week, I talked about remembering to live and love your life while you are fighting cancer or putting in training miles. All of that is critical to staying positive and putting your challenges in perspective. That said, it is all too easy to overcorrect and overdo your training or treatment. It is natural to want to impress everyone in your running group by bounding along like a teenager. Fine, if you have it in you. I don’t. I have tried to learn to run at a reasonable, safe, and productive pace. I don’t run eight miles at a seven minute, thirty second pace yet because I’d probably hurt myself. My body just isn’t there right now. It is my goal to run a marathon in under four hours, but I have many months to build a foundation. If I don’t pace myself, I’ll end up in the ER, too.
It takes a certain element of pride-swallowing to run at a safe pace. My friend and current cancer kicker Phil Brabbs told me over the weekend that running distance races was always difficult for him because it was his natural tendency to tear it up from the beginning, even though he had the fitness for a long run. That works for a five kilometer race, but not for a half marathon or marathon. It takes tactics and patience. I’m learning how to be a more patient person on many levels, but running has taught me more than anything else has in this regard.
Just a few weeks ago, Moira had a small complication, and it sent us back to the ER. Just a stomach bug in the end, but it was a tough few days and her weakened immune system really had a job of work to fend it off. After that, she announced to me that she was going on a temporary hiatus from public life. She recognized that, although she had recovered from surgery remarkably well, she was pushing it by scheduling so many social activities and new obligations so soon. She needed to pace herself so she could make a full recovery. She knew that a few extra weeks of lying low would help her come back at one hundred percent. It has.
This weekend, I didn’t run. Last week I had logged fifteen miles by Thursday evening, but I noticed soreness in my hip that told me to slow down and rest. It was tough to set aside my planned nine mile run on Saturday morning, but I got out my bike and did a long ride instead. Calories burned, cardio tested, and it was all low-impact. I feel better already and I was still able to meet my weight loss and fitness goals this week.
In the coming months, I will learn more and more about building a foundation of fitness. I have a long way to go, but I am going to have help. In order to complete my February half-marathon and raise dollars for the Wellness Community, I have signed up for a marathon training team right here in town. We start in the first weeks of January. Running outside. At 7:30 a.m. on Saturdays. If I can pace myself in that kind of cold, I will have come a long way.
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